“We are lonely from the cradle to the grave—and perhaps beyond.”
(Joseph Conrad, An Outcaste of the Islands, 1896)
“Each man is like a nautilus, who lives in a house of his own making, and carries it around on his back.”
(Brand Blanshard, The Nature of Thought, 1939)
There is a distinction between theoretical research and practical application. Theoretical knowledge teaches the reasoning, the techniques, and the theory supporting the knowledge. By contrast, practical knowledge is gained by doing things; it is based on real life endeavors, situations, and tasks. For example, Freud’s writings elucidate his psychoanalytic theory and his teachings, while his therapeutic sessions were applications of his theory. Similarly, when I write articles and books about loneliness, I am creating a theory. And when I function as a therapist, I am applying and practicing my theory. Theory always precedes practice.
In what follows, I wish to establish four themes:
First theme: that all human beings are innately lonely; that the fear of loneliness is the universal existential condition of each of us, which motivates us in all our feelings, thoughts, and endeavors.
Second theme: why this is so, and I offer a theory of consciousness that assumes the mind is both immaterial and active; reflexively self-conscious (Kant) and transcendently intentional (Husserl).
Third theme: the consequences of loneliness, which directly involve the dynamics of hostility, anxiety, and depression leading to both destructive and self-destructive behaviors.
Fourth theme: what can be done about it; its remedies in terms of positively promoting empathy, which serves as the means to secure intimacy as its result.
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